I lie awake here, in my comfy bed, wrapped up in my duvet with my feet sticking out the end. It’s 3am and the house is cold; until the heating comes on in about three hours.
This is one of my favourite moments; when the night seems no longer like the night; and it’s not quite morning either.
It’s peaceful, and nothing stirs above the usual static white noise of household appliances. Yet, my Spirit man is at alert and most attentive.
This is when I get to dwell on the past, future and unknown obligatory uncertainties of my complicated life. Then I spend time talking to You; some intercession and listening for a word or two. How I love to spend these precious moments with You.
When I can reach out for strength and understanding to endure the monotonous hours ahead; but grateful to know that your presence will remain with me.
Daytimes are more difficult than the nights, because I exert a lot of energy on the art of appearing calm and confident; when nothing could be further from the truth. So I have learnt to whisper under my breath; continually communing with you.
I need to appear strong for those who are relying on my competence; even though I need someone to lean on too.
So I plod along with the charade, making sure to keep up with appearances; until the night comes round again and I get to spend my quiet time with You, my precious Lord.